Umm I'm too high to move.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
