i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
