I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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