If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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