Betty ford says i'm here all night
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
