Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
