lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
