I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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