Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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