I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
