margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
