this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
