Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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