My cat gives me a boner
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
