This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
