did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
