stop calling my apartment porn island.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
