Plan B is the new Plan A
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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