do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
