So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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