yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
