he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
