I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
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The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
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I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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