my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
