Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
