A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
