your thong is hanging out like whoa
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
