You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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