Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
