ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
