The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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