we have pet lesbian snakes
so let's talk penis.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
