You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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