So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize