i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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