Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
