I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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