Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Randomize
