Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
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you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
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I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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