Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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