I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize