i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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