I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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