i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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