you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
