There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
