Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Still dying that you shit outside
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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