last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
