Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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