Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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