So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
