My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
