fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
