I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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