so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
