he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.