She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
my liver is dry heaving