if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?