So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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