I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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