so that wasnt chicken after all
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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