He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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